Breaking News: Santorum Unveils Ironic Plan to Wage War Against Mars

02/08/2012

Photo: Sarah Conard

Rick Santorum has apparently read the John Carter novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs, and is so enamored of them, he will employ their warlike themes to his defense strategy.  Last night at a stump speech, he referenced the novels as a “place like Earth, but more realistic.” The candidate then went on to describe how he would have designed Tars Tarkas, had he been President, or Art Director.

There’s no reason why Martian warriors can’t have crosses on their necks. That would have been totally cool.

In an exclusive interview with The Litter Box, Mr. Santorum sought to clear things up.

TLB: Thank you for joining us today, Rick.
RS: No problem, Johnny Cat. This is a totally awesome construct you’ve devised.
TLB: (blushes) Yeah, well, anyway… why do you want to wage war against Mars?
RS: Not Martians, per se, Johnny. What I’m proposing, and what a lot of bipartisan support is saying is that, well, we need to secure Mars for America. After all, it was an American who first discovered it. It should be American astronauts that first colonize it, and claim it for America. The American people would agree with me, Johnny.
TLB: You do realize that one of the gods of war was Mars, and that the planet Mars was named many, shall we say, moons before our births upon this planet? What conclusive evidence do you have  that we should go to war with Mars?
RS: I have two words for you: Dejah Thoris.


The Revolution Will Be Indiana Jones-ified

01/31/2011


The Portland Bomber… Entrapped?

11/27/2010

I have loved ones that live a few blocks away from Pioneer Courthouse Square, where Somali-born suspected terrorist Mohamud planned to enliven the tree-lighting ceremony with fire and death. As I was celebrating the successful prevention of the catastrophe, I found an interesting difference in what I was hearing from my connections in the intel field. A different slant on what happened. One source, J. Price, opined:

Entrapment is bad, because it’s a moral gray area, and I don’t like gray areas.

the NSA tries not to concern itself with every petty loser who doesn’t like the U.S., and the NSA definitely doesn’t give people fake bombs and encourage them to commit terrorism. If it happens, the NSA gets them.

Just opinions, but a chorus is singing a song of Mohamud possibly being a victim of entrapment. That the FBI coulda and shoulda just apprehended the man and subsequently deported him to Somalia. Instead we got this media circus, which could have been totally avoidable. Why continue this pattern of close calls with hostiles when we could just deport them at any time? Not because the agency wanted to learn more about this kid’s contacts, and certainly not to placate any government agency overseers. This was all about the media attention the FBI has been thirsty for since 9/11.

And I for one could have done without knowing that a terrorist was even near my loved ones, albiet under observation by the Feds.


Alphabetical Google Image Search – W

11/11/2010

As this alphabetical thing winds down, I decided to go with my three favorite photos of America’s erstwhile President.


Even Glenn Beck Knows

01/15/2010

via Buzzfeed.

I usually don’t post political stuff, but I think the blogosphere could do with more vetting of this terrible lie, this Sarah Palin person who calls herself a leader.  The more she speaks, the more she comes across as someone trying to make money from politics, and really doesn’t have a patriotic bone in her body.  It’s like she just keeps talking until she can form a talking point, and even Über-douche Glenn Beck calls bullshit.  Classic.

Just to elaborate, I would classify this as an art post.  Because even bad art is art.  Can we just deconstruct the Palin mystique for one second?  Her handlers are propping her up, writing Facebook updates, getting her ensconced in the Fox News galaxy in order to put her in a political orbit around the glorious year 2012.  From there, they will test the waters for a Presidential bid, and for those of us who find that frightening, it’s like a clarion call to get the word out.  We can’t ignore her, in hopes she’ll just go away.  We have to expose her for the fraud that she is, the quitter that she is, and the fact that the only reason she is famous is because every Republican male (and many other males) find her physically attractive.

Carry on.


Best Gets Prizes (i.e. Be Superior)

10/26/2009

celebrity-pictures-r2d2-in-comparison


From George To Barack

01/22/2009
"Dear 44, Good luck, G"
“Dear 44, Good luck, G”

I just have to point out that the guy I voted for in 2000 left a seemingly, potentially awesome letter on the Resolute Desk for the guy I voted for this year.  That’s a complete knight-move.  As opposed to a dick-move.  I mean this guy was there eight years.  Compared to what he was met with upon entering office, I’d have to say the guy still has my sympathies for his inherent thoughtfulness. 

Yeah sure, he made a whole mess of things, but I always got the sense that he meant well.  It’s a testament to politics in general, though, when an outgoing President makes such a gesture.  I just wonder, as we all must, what was in that letter. 
Directions to the President’s Book?
Directions on how to work the DVR in the bedroom?
His personal strategy on how to solve the “Rubit’s” Cube?

Time will tell.  But in the mean time, it’s pretty freakin cool.


Lennon, and Other Topics

12/09/2008
John

John

Thanks to Yoko Ono and Boing Boing  for this image, snapped a couple of weeks before John Lennon was taken from our world. 

Here’s something new and exciting in the realm of Hollywood: 

Ever wonder if a certain movie is going to do well or bomb its first weekend?  Finextra  has a story about plans to have hedge bets and all kinds of dangerous trading fuckery involving openings and overall box office.  This is akin to having Wall Street the movie coming to life and Michael Keaton Douglas is really calling the shots.

Also, from the bottom of my heart, I wish my nephew, Corporal Jared X. Price, good luck at his new command, and all posts along the beam there.  Eagle, fly free.


Random Favorite Word

08/30/2008

Nevertheless.

I love this word because it is actually three words mashed up to mean a Gestalt of the individual words.

I would NEVER assume THE truth would be LESS than we bargained for.


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