83rd Annual What?

via LAist

So the 83rd Annual Academy Awards Ceremony was nothing like the previous 82. It was probably the worst awards event in recent memory. Just a few observations of what contributed to the scornful event that was supposed to celebrate the year in film. The many WTF moments include:

– Banksy was robbed.

– Mila Kunis’ tattoo-looking breasts/dress.

– Timberlake and Kunis making some oblique joke that absolutely no one got.

– McCounaughey and Johansen making some oblique mumble-joke that probably wasn’t a joke at all.

– James Franco in drag

– Christian Bale plugging a website for Dickie Ecklund.

– The Academy president and ABC person assuring us there will still be a relationship betwixt the two until 2020.

– Supposedly this was to be directed at the youth market, but there were an inordinate amount of walking canes involved (not that Kirk Douglas didn’t rock).

– The opening montage: it would have been better if they had actually landed in the canyon of 127 Hours, and Franco would face Franco. But apparently no one could write that hilarity.

– Celine Dion

– That weird projection screen onstage that made everything look like you’re having an acid flashback.

– That confounded microphone, which at least two winners found hard to find because it was too bloody invisible.

– The fact that I just said “bloody.”

Anyway, I think I’m not alone in calling this the dumbest Oscars ever, and aside from the fact that my favorite film of the year, Inception, won four awards, I really think these awards are for egomaniacs and future talent, like the shaggy-haired winner of best short film, Luke Matheny, who hopefully makes more movies in the future. Kudos to Sandra Bullock for keeping it real during the presentation for Best Actor, and again I gotta mention the highlight- actor/legend Kirk Douglas milking it and hitting up the ladies was true Oscar gold.

Update via Buzzfeed: Kirk Douglas arriving at the Oscars in 1954:

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