This pretty much sums up where I’ve been for the past year. To the many who alight here daily, looking for new content, just know that sometimes a cat gets sidetracked, and the litter box is the last thing on their mind.

(YouTube Link)

Resume Mistakes


While chipping away at my resume, I did a little searching for tips and advice, and found this list of JobMob’s 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes. These are from actual resumes, and include such gems as:

  • “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
  • Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
  • Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.
  • “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”
  • “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  • Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”
  • Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”
  • Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
  • Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”

Writing the perfect resume is hard work, and it’s easy to let typos slip through, but Wow, People.

More at the link, etc.


Censorship is Stupid


Lionsgate Films

A memo to the entertainment industry, particularly cable TV:

Stop censoring words that you think are offensive to us, the general public. Americans can handle curse words, the young among us included. It’s fair to say that most kids know all the bad words out there; I have it on good authority (from about ten years ago) that your average 10 year old knows every word, even MF, and doesn’t use them in polite company.

This weekend, I had the unpleasant experience of watching what seemed to be a cavalcade of disaster from the sky movies on cable television- Deep Impact, Armageddon, and Terminator 3 seemed to be on repeat. If I had kids, I’d be more worried about their perception of near-future events than what was the stupidest word-censor ever during Armageddon. Steve Buscemi’s Rockhound screams “This is a kick-ass ride!” during the shuttle launch, but “ass” was simply blurred over with a noticeable silence.

I can’t believe this word in such a context is so offensive; I mean, seriously, Kick Ass is the title of a pretty successful movie aimed at a younger generation, anyway, and it’s a stupid, harmless word! Even if I said I wanted to kick your ass, it’s not like I’m implying anything sexual, and if I say this ride is “kick-ass,” it’s not like I’m implying violence.

Get over yourselves, censors.

Otto vs Egon: Bookshelf Battle


(YouTube Link)

This is the high octane sequel to Otto vs Egon, and as usual, the sequel is better.

A Real Groaner


One of the best things about seeing movies in a theater is the collective experience shared with a group of strangers. It occurs throughout the movie, and can be very telling during certain previews. Case in point, this clip (naughty videographer notwithstanding) captured a universal sentiment during a trailer for an upcoming horror show called Devil.

(YouTube Link)

There’s just no holding back that kind of disappointment.

UPDATE: No surprise it’s gone now, but in case you missed it, there are some scary, noisy edits, the black screen shows the card: From Universal Pictures… then: An M. Night Shyamalan Film, and many members of the audience can then be heard groaning loudly.

I Feel Fine


(YouTube Link)

This is, ironically, one of those videos where at the TouTube Link, you can click the little soccer ball in the bottom toolbar, and enhance the video with vuvuzela. How awesome is that?

Warner Bros.

Sure, there is always the constant thought of furthering our technology and designing for a Jetson-like lifestyle. People have been imagining flying cars and living among robots since I can remember. I’m talking about designing products for a future that may not be so glamorous – I’m talking about designing products…for the post-apocalyptic world!

Perhaps by designing for the end of the world, we can end up saving the world…

Link to this compelling business idea.

Why Your VM Outgoing Message Sucks


Here’s a brief history of events that led up to a huge portion of the population leaving a terrible, soul-crushing outgoing message on their voice mail. First, just when we were getting used to rotary phones, being able to zip that dial like a racehorse around the final turn, they changed the format. (pic: zen)

Enter the calculator-esque push-button phone. Or is it Satan? (ahem) See, this design got callers everywhere overconfident. Soon they were seeing if they could punch in digits even faster than the old, more controlled method of the spinning dial. This led to an increase in wrong numbers. (pic: stilo95hp)

We’re not just talking about a spike, but an all-consuming wave that flooded the lands of the telephone users. At one point I remember a 60 Minutes segment about it, people were being inundated with wrong numbers, and suffering a minor form of PSTD. But it was not a sickness without a measure of protection, and subsequently we got the answering machine.

After the masses figured out how to use them, answering machines began clogging people’s call time due to long-winded outgoing messages, usually prefaced by stating the phone number that was reached, and both household heads -and maybe the kids- would chime in too, followed by them all simultaneously instructing the caller on what to do when they hear a beep. This went on for a long, dark time. (pic: Wikimedia)

Which leads us to a present epidemic. The ghosts of the past still haunt many of us when we record our outgoing message on our cell phone. Personally, I think it should be short and to the point (which many of the offending are), and maybe just say “Hi, it’s [name].” And let that 15 second recording start that informs the caller on how to leave a voice message. But here’s the rub that I experience way too often upon being directed to someone’s voice mail. And please… please change your outgoing message if it starts like this:

“Hi, you have reached…”

No. No, I haven’t. I really needed to, but I haven’t. I knew who I was calling, but I didn’t reach you. WHY DO YOU MOCK ME?

(pic: Bloggoggles)