Photo: Sarah Conard
Rick Santorum has apparently read the John Carter novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs, and is so enamored of them, he will employ their warlike themes to his defense strategy. Last night at a stump speech, he referenced the novels as a “place like Earth, but more realistic.” The candidate then went on to describe how he would have designed Tars Tarkas, had he been President, or Art Director.
There’s no reason why Martian warriors can’t have crosses on their necks. That would have been totally cool.
In an exclusive interview with The Litter Box, Mr. Santorum sought to clear things up.
TLB: Thank you for joining us today, Rick.
RS: No problem, Johnny Cat. This is a totally awesome construct you’ve devised.
TLB: (blushes) Yeah, well, anyway… why do you want to wage war against Mars?
RS: Not Martians, per se, Johnny. What I’m proposing, and what a lot of bipartisan support is saying is that, well, we need to secure Mars for America. After all, it was an American who first discovered it. It should be American astronauts that first colonize it, and claim it for America. The American people would agree with me, Johnny.
TLB: You do realize that one of the gods of war was Mars, and that the planet Mars was named many, shall we say, moons before our births upon this planet? What conclusive evidence do you have that we should go to war with Mars?
RS: I have two words for you: Dejah Thoris.
I have loved ones that live a few blocks away from Pioneer Courthouse Square, where Somali-born suspected terrorist Mohamud planned to enliven the tree-lighting ceremony with fire and death. As I was celebrating the successful prevention of the catastrophe, I found an interesting difference in what I was hearing from my connections in the intel field. A different slant on what happened. One source, J. Price, opined:
Entrapment is bad, because it’s a moral gray area, and I don’t like gray areas.
the NSA tries not to concern itself with every petty loser who doesn’t like the U.S., and the NSA definitely doesn’t give people fake bombs and encourage them to commit terrorism. If it happens, the NSA gets them.
Just opinions, but a chorus is singing a song of Mohamud possibly being a victim of entrapment. That the FBI coulda and shoulda just apprehended the man and subsequently deported him to Somalia. Instead we got this media circus, which could have been totally avoidable. Why continue this pattern of close calls with hostiles when we could just deport them at any time? Not because the agency wanted to learn more about this kid’s contacts, and certainly not to placate any government agency overseers. This was all about the media attention the FBI has been thirsty for since 9/11.
And I for one could have done without knowing that a terrorist was even near my loved ones, albiet under observation by the Feds.
As this alphabetical thing winds down, I decided to go with my three favorite photos of America’s erstwhile President.